Football is Back … What a F*&king Mess!
So I watched the first Sunday of professional football and it was … a f*&king mess!
Football A**HOLES of the Week:
Even I, a person who has never played organized football at any level, know enough about the sport to understand that with less than 4 seconds on the clock, you take a F*&KING KNEE and end the half, morons!
The Dallas Cowboys!
I am a life long Dallas Cowboys’ fan. I have watched them my entire life and suffered through the horrible Danny White era at quarterback. He, like Tony Romo, had flashes of brilliance. He, like Romo, always let us down when it mattered most. Romo and/or Jason Garrett (apparently the next head coach of the Cowboys after Wade Phillips eats a rookie) and Alex Barron are the A**holes of the Week for the Cowboys.
Garrett and/or Romo was responsible for providing Washington with their only touchdown by running a f*&king play at the end of the 2nd quarter when they were over 60 yards away from the end zone! Really! Are you kidding me? Even I, a person who has never played organized football at any level, know enough about the sport to understand that with less than 4 seconds on the clock, you take a F*&KING KNEE and end the half, morons! What was this play designed to do? Pad someone’s stats? Problem is, the only person’s stats that got padded was DeAngelo Hall’s! On Monday, for some odd reason Wade Phillips was taking the blame for the call. No Wade, take the blame for the defense … you call those plays and are responsible for those players!
The next A**hole is Alex Barron, the most penalized A**hole in the NFL last year! Barron is a moron and this week he is a big A**HOLE! The legal equivalent to being the most penalized player would be if a lawyer were sanctioned every time she stepped into court! The waiter equivalent would be if the server dropped a plate of food on a customer every time he worked a shift! In other words, if you performed like Barron in any other profession, you’d be fired! As for Barron, there has to be someone out there at that position with two or three working brain cells who can do the job better than this A**HOLE! Something tells me he is not done costing the Cowboys games this season!
The Oakland Raiders
As for the other A**holes in the league, something tells me this list may always include the Oakland Raiders … at least until they stop signing criminals or Al Davis dies. Until one of those things happens, they are going to suck! If the NFL had a farm system, the Raiders would be in it! The entire team!
The Philadelphia Eagles
The Eagles … hmmm … interesting choice to get rid of McNabb. He didn’t look too bad against Dallas but the young guy you tapped to replace him got a concussion. Then Michael Vick took over and ran around a lot. Maybe if the Packers were pitbulls, Vick would have killed them and the Eagles would have won!
Yeah … yeah … I’m an A**HOLE, get over it! He’s a convicted felon who gets to play in the National Football League! If I get convicted of a felony, my law license is gone. And, I am done! PERIOD! Maybe I should have learned to chuck a ball and then I could do whatever I wanted with little or no consequence. Big Ben will be the next quarterback to make this list. He really LOVES the ladies … a little too much!
Football SWEET ASSES of the Week:
The Houston Texans!
I never thought I would see this … the Houston Texans defeating the Indianapolis Colts in the season opener. And, I mean, they beat the crap out of them! It was a thing of beauty! And, I appreciate the Texans putting the season-long mystery to rest after the first game of the season! The Colts do not have to worry about going undefeated … the ‘72 Miami team can start chillin’ that champagne! They will likely be able to break into it before the 12th week of the season what with Randy Moss not feeling loved in New England … what a f*&king baby! Shut up, catch the ball and leave the whine in Napa where it belongs!
