I’ll Be Damned! Killer Whales Actually KILL!

Posted by Main Ass on October 21, 2010 in Man vs. Nature |

When Wild Animals Kill Stupid People! – Part 1

First off, this KILLER WHALE probably got sick of being called Tilikum. That’s not a typo … that’s the name he was given … TILIKUM! What the f*ck is a Tilikum? I looked it up because curiosity got the better of me. It means burrito in Eskimo. Go figure!

Since homo sapiens began sharing the planet with other animals, attempting to tame them, kill them for food, shelter and clothing and, more recently, use them for sport and entertainment, people have been getting killed by said animals in grand and spectacular fashion. It’s nice to know some things never change!

Back in February 2010, a trainer at SeaWorld was killed by a whale. Naturally, there were lots of questions about this preventable tragedy. Everyone wanted to know what happened? Did the animal snap? Did the trainer do something wrong? The answer to both questions is YES!

First off, this KILLER WHALE probably got sick of being called Tilikum. That’s not a typo … that’s the name he was given … TILIKUM! What the f*ck is a Tilikum? I looked it up because curiosity got the better of me. It means burrito in Eskimo. Go figure! After being called that stupid name, the whale got pissed and pulled a Kunta Kente, “I am not Tilikum!” and killed the closest person to him. But, because the whale weighs over six tons, his fate was markedly different from Mr. Kente’s. He didn’t get beaten and lose a foot (or fin).

See this whale did what Kunta wished he could’ve done. He killed his master/trainer by thrashing her about and then spitting her out! Maybe Kunta didn’t want to do that exactly, but you get the gist of it. Anyway, I know what you’re thinking. How can you possibly make the connection between slavery and taking this majestic creature from its natural environment, keeping it locked up and making it perform for your enjoyment and profit? No, there’s no connection at all! Whatever was I thinking?

Taking a whale from the ocean and keeping it in a tank is the equivalent of keeping a person in a bath tub his entire life. At some point, he will snap! I can guarantee you that if I were kept in a bathtub and some bitch kept getting on my nose making me push her around and propel her into the air, the shit would hit the fan with a quickness! It wouldn’t happen every time because I would likely have some good days (though I have no idea what those would look like SINCE I AM LIVING IN A F*CKING BATH TUB). But, the bad days would be BAD, REALLY BAD! And, that’s what happened here.

After this happened, everyone at SeaWorld was quick to say that they love the whales. Really! If this were true, they would want them in their natural environment where they can live full lives. Sting told us … if you love someone, set them free. The people at SeaWorld also insisted that the trainer not only loved Tilikum but that he and the other animals were like her kids. Come on now. Would the trainer have kept her child in a tub its entire life? We wouldn’t call that love … we’d f*cking call Child Protective Services!

The excuse for keeping these and other animals locked up is always the same sh&t! We need to study them and the children can learn about them. It’s educational! I love how we always bring kids in to justify stupid sh&t. You know what, your child is curious about a lot of sh&t, like the electrical outlets in your home. But you cover those bad boys up with little plastic dohickeys because there are some things Little Billy should be told about rather than experience firsthand. The same goes with killer whales and other dangerous animals.

If your kid wants to learn about wild animals, pick up a f*cking book, watch Animal Planet, go online, visit The Bronx! What did the kids learn that day at SeaWorld after they watched a person lose her life? The most important lesson nature has to teach us … a wild animal that weighs over six tons can kill you. Leave it the hell alone! But, clearly that’s a lesson the people at SeaWorld still haven’t learned since they re-opened the whale show shortly after the trainer’s death.

And, yes, it’s horrible. A person is dead. A mother lost her child. And, I feel for her. I really do. But maybe, just maybe, the mother is to blame in this horrible incident. This mother clearly failed to tell her child what my mom told me: “Go ahead, play with the killer whale. It’s all fun and games until someone gets eaten alive!” I’d been warned and so I stayed away. This trainer wasn’t as fortunate.

So, maybe that’s what these white kids need since people keep harping on the education thing. Maybe we need to bring these white kids around Black women who can warn them about the obvious sh&t that their mothers seem to miss time and time again. For example, if you play with a wild animal that has sharp teeth and weighs as much as two Cadillac Escalades, you might become a chew toy and/or lose your f*cking life. You know, simple sh&t like that!

This is part one of a series that looks at people who have had unfortunate run ins with wild animals and lost … big time! Stay tuned for more When Wild Animals Kill Stupid People!

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